Did you get a chance to see the solar eclipse in April? Everyone was amazed by the rare visual occurrence of the eclipse and surprised by the sudden darkness and sudden chilling temperature drop during the few minutes the eclipse was total. It made all the preparations to pause our busy lives and catch the eclipse even more worth it.
The sky was partly cloudy where I stood, and I didn’t see as much of it as expected. Still, I thought the effects of the eclipse were a perfect analogy to describe the sudden and intrusive impact depression can have on a person, whether we are in a deep dark season or when it shows up intrusively for a day on the path of someone who is generally doing well in recovery. For me, depression became a reality after 40 years of living courageously with a disability that intensified as I aged like everyone else.
When the total eclipse happened, it was a once-in-a-lifetime attraction. We had been taught about the expected phenomenon. We were cheering because we were warned it would last a few minutes; just like people paying for the thrill of a roller coaster ride that makes us scream without really threatening us, we know we are not falling to our deaths. However, when depression jumps in front of us, often accompanied by her cousin anxiety, it is like a total eclipse that comes without warning; we lose our bearing, the darkness and cold are frightening, and we can’t see past it; we can’t even think that the light and warmth still await us because our mind and senses are picking up nothing else; but we will see the light again when the moon moves out of the way.
The three lies of the eclipsed mind
During a total eclipse of the mind, our thoughts tend to group into three primary basic lies or extreme distortions of the truth :
- I’m helpless
- I’m worthless
- I’m unlovable
Would you be willing to consider that these thoughts are not telling the whole truth about yourself?
They might reveal ”a” truth that feels reel when your mind comes to this conclusion, probably amplified, if not distorted by strong emotions. It tells you a truth about how you feel right now, but not about who you are beyond sun, clouds and storms. With lots of practice, we can cultivate the reflex to notice the eclipse and say,” Brrr. It’s dark and cold. I’ll get inside, rest and keep warm for now until the moon moves out of the way of the sun.” (Aaagghh, practice… I know… Wouldn’t it be nice if we could have a more instant infallible solution… but that’s not how the mind works. )
Flipping the exaggerated (lying) thoughts into helpful truths
Wouldn’t you rather bet on helpful thoughts? Wouldn’t you prefer investing in an account that yields daily interest instead of costing you? How about practicing flipping these thoughts to their helpful counterparts? For example:
| Exaggerated thought | Flipped helpful thought |
| I’m helpless. | I can find the help that I need. |
| I’m worthless | I can contribute to making this world better even if I haven’t figured it all out yet |
| I’m unlovable | I have a lot to love to give, and since there are other people like me in the world, love will get back to me too. |
Is that too much of a big leap for now?
Okay, we can take smaller steps that are still meaningful:
| Exaggerated thought | Smaller realistic thought |
| I’m helpless. | I haven’t found exactly what I need yet, but a peer support initiative like Rising Disabled might share some possibilities I have not quite considered yet. |
| I’m worthless. | I matter now to some people in my life who did not know me before, and I will probably matter to more people in the future. |
| I’m unlovable. | It only takes one person to see me as I am and welcome me as such to feel less alone. |
It’s all about giving ourselves a chance when an unwanted eclipse is frightening and chilling, always temporarily.
